Friday, May 29, 2009


(The words below are my daughter's thoughts on how she feels today about baby Jazmyn's death.)

Well, I do know that I think of Jazmyn all the time…pretty much daily. My thoughts are always first of a slight sadness, then a comforting knowing that I will see her again in Heaven. I still struggle daily with negative, soul-crushing thoughts -- those evil “what-ifs” or “if onlys.” They could destroy me, if I let them.

My firstborn and only born was named JAZMYN. She was 8 lbs. and 1 oz. Tragically, she was stillborn on December 15, 2007. I find it ironic because my birthday is September 15. With the understanding of how God can work in my life and how he had given me comfort, I am reassured of His good purpose about my daughter ‘s death.

Unfortunately, I am not able to have another child because I've been diagnosed with a risk of heart failure. The next childbirth would kill me, the doctors said. But the Lord did bless me with the experience of bearing a child. I sometimes think that if I had succeeded in having an abortion, I would have had to deal with the horrible guilt of killing a being. And I was even going to “terminate” her on my birthday of 2007. But the heavenly Father said, “NOPE!” and I’m infinitely grateful that He didn’t let me.

From September to the night of her death, I have never known a love so pure and wonderful as that of being a pregnant woman. My life changed drastically from not caring about myself and not knowing my worth and doing drugs and smoking cigarettes a lot, to giving a hoot and taking care of someone other than myself and taking care of myself solely because it was the responsible thing to do for Jazmyn.

Nothing has been the same since. The pain has subsided quite a bit, but at times, like at the recent Memorial Day church service, I would feel that hollow pain resurface. And when I see a child running around and I imagine what my daughter might have looked like, I would feel a harsh twang of pain -- briefly, but I would still feel its sharpness. I know that without the steadying influence of my faith in Christ, and the understanding and love of the Lord, I would not be here today. He has provided me with comfort during my darkest hours…the loss of my only Jazmyn.

Thursday, May 28, 2009


By GOD's Providence, i read The Prayer of Jabez on April 2008 – i prayed and journaled throughout the year and thereafter, loosely basing a somewhat existent prayer life on Jabez’ prayer, I CHRONICLES 4:10. During that time, my faith was tested indeed! i had just given my testimony at a Celebrate Recovery meeting held at my church, where i declared that “It matters not what GOD does, it matters only Who He Is!” (Oswald Chambers)

This na├»ve declaration was made real to me during my prolonged stay in Fiji. My faith in GOD was strengthened indeed through the many deep valleys travailed – even though at times it seemed as if i did it on my knees! Yet GOD’s good purpose was accomplished.

Today, i am fortified and enlivened, my faith in GOD, my Father, made solid – built on ROCK. i can say with utmost conviction, "It matters not what GOD does, it matters only Who He Is!” i know in my innermost core that the Creator of the entire universe is indeed my Father, my very own Abba.

How does all this tie in with i’m a Jabez too!?

Because of my core belief that there are NO ACCIDENTS, i recognized immediately the Holy SPIRIT’s engineering when i saw The Prayer of Jabez and the accompanying Devotional at my friend Ann’s house. She gave me the books and that started this “Jabez ball” rolling.

i was in a similar scenario as Jabez was: April 2009, just back from Fiji, grandly rich in CHRIST, but materially destitute by worldly standards. i was all fired up for GOD, yet with no means to channel this uncontainable, irrepressible joy. As i continued to pray and journal, this time seriously committed (for 31 days) to pray in the manner of Jabez -- the Holy SPIRIT moved through me in unmistakable ways. He kept providing encouraging confirmations and the means for me to do my part in the Great Commission. SPIRIT orchestrated, with fervent prayers as my contribution, this exciting GODventure.

From literally nothing on April 12, 2009 (for money was indeed the issue), to today, May 28, 2009 – GOD has blessed me indeed with an operable car, a Toshiba laptop computer, a safe environment for the i’m a Jabez too! Bible study and prayer group, and a blog site to promote it.

Fervent prayer has tremendous power indeed! Not only are my material needs being met day today (the laptop i'm blogging on, a printer, money to pay bills, car, room and board--my daily bread), but GOD is also answering my deeper prayers, the ones that really matter most to me – a deeper and closer relationship with my daughter and mother, for their happiness and well-being (and the rest of my loved ones' hearts opened up to CHRIST's gentle knocking). In those areas, GOD is answering big time! And I am so utterly grateful!

The bottom line on why I want this JBZ2! to go off like a rocket to Mars – i want so much for others to experience this wondrous excitement, this ever-flowing fountain of joy of being one with CHRIST. It’s an exhilarating GODventure INDEED!!!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Deceased – December 14, 2007, Friday (cause unknown)
Born -- December 15, 2007, Saturday, 8:18 a.m.

Cold statistics…mere numbers , which do not reflect the anguish of heart and mind, the physical pain of childbirth, the rush of joy and sorrow.

As i drove my daughter to Labor and Delivery at the UCSD Medical Center that Friday afternoon, i felt this sudden arrow of pain in my heart – it was real, it was physical. Baby Jazmyn had not moved all day. My daughter was outwardly calm but wracked with misgivings – her mind already jumping to the “what ifs.” All i could say was, “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.” All i could do was remind her of the many blessings GOD has already wrought in her life through Jazmyn. All i could do was pray, thank GOD and trust in Him whatever happens next. But again, I felt that stab of pain in my heart.

In the delivery room, that dreaded bridge came about too soon. As the doctor searched for a heartbeat, the now familiar heart thumps were nowhere to be heard. i thought, "Why doesn’t he turn up the volume? Is the machine broken?"
After sweeping the monitor over my daughter's stomach a few more times, with no discernible heart beat, the doctor confirmed our fears: expired, demised . . . such cold words. Unbelieving, my daughter asked, "What do you mean?" Jazmyn has passed away. Gone. The word "dead" was not uttered. That word was too final, too harsh for the heart to bear. My daughter went into robot mode of expressionless self-control. My own face grimaced in pain as tears fell unchecked.

We were then given a private room, left alone to absorb the shock, to allow the not-yet-bearable news to sink in and to let the pain within its outward expression, away from the scrutiny of strangers. How could i give comfort to my own baby, my daughter? How could i help ease her wrenching pain? How could i help soften this devastating blow?

i asked my daughter to pray with me. i can't remember now my exact words. But as i thanked GOD for the gift of baby Jazmyn, as i thanked Him for allowing Jazmyn's presence to bring about the wonderful inner and outer changes in my daughter's life that i and many others have so longed and prayed for, as i praised Him for His wisdom in orchestrating such good from our bad beginnings -- then my daughter finally allowed her pain to burst through the fragile shell of control with which she had wrapped herself. Her grief vocalized, tore at my own heart -- and i prayed with all my might that Jesus be with us that very moment, right there and then. How i pleaded with Him to be with my daughter, repeatedly asking for His comforting presence.

GOD answered our prayers. Through the sleepless night, waiting for Saturday's dawning, He quieted our hearts, He stilled our minds, He gentled our souls. No raging bitterness, no "why me" of self-pity, no raised fist at GOD -- only resolute readiness in anticipation of Jazmyn's birth. Even with our ready acceptance of this painful reality, GOD’s loving mercy tempered our heartache with this feeling of glad expectancy that at last we will see Jazmyn face to face.

i saw my daughter physically strengthened by SPIRIT as she received the epidural, as she bore down repeatedly, as she pushed to the last of her strength to deliver baby Jazmyn. i witnessed the love that GOD has poured into my daughter's heart as she tenderly held a bundled Jazmyn in her arms. How joyfully my daughter examined her perfect feet, her "big" hands, her beautiful face. How she lavished Jazmyn with that love!

There was no bitterness in the tears that flowed from us both -- no angry wails of pain as we gazed at Jazmyn's still face. Rather we felt a flood of joy -- the sweetness of GOD's loving presence as the three of us were somehow soulfully intertwined. Our cup truly runneth over -- sweet joy and quiet sorrow; physical exhaustion and emotional release; gratefulness for GOD's gift of Jazmyn and recognition of GOD's awesome sovereign power over life and death.

JOB 1:21 -- "The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."
GOD, our loving Father, gifted us with Jazmyn's very brief existence here on earth. GOD, the same loving Father, for His own perfect purpose, took her away to be with Him in His heavenly presence. We cannot ever fully understand His ways, nor can we ever fathom His infinite wisdom in allowing Jazmyn's death -- but my daughter and i do trust in His good purpose; we thank Him for the numerous blessings He has brought through Jazmyn; we praise Him for causing things to work for good to those who love and revere Him.

GOD answered my own prayers and of those who also cared for my daughter -- marvelously, in a way i had never even imagined. In His loving providence, He gave the means to turn around my daughter's roller coaster life -- a life of destructive, aimless and surely fatal (physical and spiritual) wandering from GOD. Though my daughter had accepted Jesus as her Savior, she did not walk with CHRIST.

But GOD, in His abundant mercy, used Jazmyn to work good in my daughter's life. The baby's unborn presence was the critical spark, which ignited Maia's heart to open up to receiving GOD's healing love and cleansing light. At last, my daughter, as she poured out the love that GOD has poured in towards her growing baby, she began to practice true love -- the act of giving of oneself with no thought of recompense. She finally learned the meaning of true love -- the kind CHRIST Jesus exemplified: self-sacrificial love.

My daughter, for Jazmyn's sake, gave up destructive habits and patterns, put away her old lifestyle of living for herself only, and actively seeked an environment which contributed to Jazmyn's well being: a healthy body for Jazmyn to grow in, a sound mind to promote a right attitude, an open heart to receive GOD's Word.

True to GOD's gracious nature, once my daughter committed to living a righteous life for Jazmyn's sake (and hers), GOD simultaneously allowed the orchestration of all the blessed benefits my daughter received throughout her pregnancy: a healthier lifestyle, expert and caring doctors and nurses, adequate material and financial of all, GOD led my daughter to a real relationship with CHRIST. Through GOD's gift of Jazmyn, my daughter walks with CHRIST today.

Our most generous and loving Father GOD supplied so abundantly the people that my daughter needed to help strengthen her CHRISTian walk. Through her every challenge, whether physical, emotional or mental -- GOD provided my daughter, in every instance, someone to help her weather it through.

GOD indeed answers prayers! GOD has answered mine, time and time again. His countless blessings include the gift of seeing firsthand my daughter's transformation from a tortured soul to a joyful mother to be. He allowed me to experience the miracle of birth -- to see an eight-pound, one ounce, 19 1/2-inch baby come out of my own daughter's womb – it was an unforgettable moment. Though i grieved silently as my heart seemed to break at the sight of a lifeless Jazmyn being born, i was also overwhelmed with awe by GOD's supreme creative intelligence.

Not only has GOD, the Good Shepherd that He is, led back to His fold this daughter of mine who had strayed into dangerous grounds for so many years, but our Almighty Father took pity on me as well. He saw my own brokenheartedness and He filled me with His SPIRIT so that i was strengthened for my daughter’s sake. He enabled me to ride this rogue wave. He anchored us upon the Rock so that my daughter and i were not swept away in darkness and despair. Throughout this travail of our own Valley of the Shadow of Death, JESUS was our constant Companion, our trusted Friend, our almighty Deliverer. He was the loving embrace that sheltered us from the avalanche of grief. Without Him, my daughter and i would have fallen in a black abyss of anger, bitterness and self-pity. Thanks to GOD’s abundant mercy and grace, infinite compassion and love towards His children, my daughter and i weathered the ordeal – not unscathed, not without scars, but stronger in our faith in CHRIST as our Savior. We are securely established in the joy of our eternal hope in GOD, with all our loved ones who are in CHRIST, especially our Jazmyn.

Through this heavy trial, GOD solidified and broadened the path i walk with CHRIST, resulting in complete trust in all His plans for me, in more capacity to give and receive His love, in more reverential fear of His omniscient sovereign power, in an inexpressible joy and peace from the certainty that all is well because GOD is in control of all His creation.

Today i trust implicitly in GOD's perfect will and grand design for me and my loved ones. i surrender fully my all to His righteous and loving plan. How can i not? i am but dust that GOD has given breath. GOD, in CHRIST JESUS, is the Source of my be-ing, the Source of all that i am, all that i have. i am all His, and yet it is also a wonderful mystery to me: He, the indescribable Creator of all things seen and unseen; He, who effortlessly upholds the countless gazillions of galaxies; He, who needs no one and no thing -- He is mine to call Father, Friend . . . Savior.

Bless the LORD, the Lord of our lives –
For the gift of Jazmyn, our bundle of joy.
From GOD’s lovingkindness and tender mercies, she came
Bringing abundance: blessings of love, healing and eternal hope.

Bless the LORD, the Lord of our souls –
For the miracle of Jazmyn, our shooting star from above,
Whose brief appearance touched our hearts,
Whose very presence healed her own mother’s wounds.

Bless the LORD, the Lord of all creation –
For our blessed Jazmyn, the spark that lit up our days,
The bloom that scented our moments,
The unforgettable melody that we’ll sing ‘til day’s end.

Bless the LORD!
TODAY – May 25, 2009 – Memorial Day
, i remember my first and only grandchild with an aching sweetness. And i still thank GOD today for His gift of Jazmyn. In GOD’s infinite wisdom and mercy, He did not allow my daughter to play at being god. He called Jazmyn to heaven at His own pleasure. He did not allow my daughter the painful burden and unfathomable guilt of taking a life.

Mother’s Day passed with less pain, though not without tears. And i am deeply grateful to GOD’s mercy towards my daughter. In Romans 8:28, it is written: GOD causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him. Indeed, He walked with us through the subsequent valleys that followed after this “Grand Canyon,” and i trust that He will continue to do so.

Friday, May 8, 2009


THE POWER OF FERVENT PRAYER (James 5:16, 4:3; Mark 11:22-24)

In I Chronicles 4:9-10, it is written:

Now Jabez was more honorable than his brothers, and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, "Because I bore him in pain." And Jabez called on the GOD of Israel saying, "Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!" So GOD granted him what he requested.

ARE YOU A "JABEZ" TOO? (Ezekiel 37:1-10, 13-14)

IF you are a genuine CHRISTian (John 3:3) -- ordinary, not yet perfected, with a sincere desire to serve and to be used by GOD for whatever purpose(s) He desires...andBold if you

- did not have the best start in life (Jabez was cursed with the name "He Will Cause Pain!") (I Cor 1:27-28; Psalm 52:17; II Cor 12:9-10)
- are plagued with a rocky past and cursed with an "I Have Caused Pain!" history (Moses, Ex 2:11-12; David, II Sam 12:9; Rahab, Joshua 2:1b; Paul, Acts 22:4, 8; the prodigal son, Luke 15:13; the adulteress, John 8:3-5)
- have an uncertain future on earth, but have a certain future in Heaven (John 14:2-3; Phil 3:20)
- want to do more for GOD out of love for CHRIST JESUS (John 12:3; Mark 12:44)
- desire to become that best person GOD had always intended (Rom 8:29; Psalm 139:14)

You are invited to witness in a very personal way the tremendous power of fervent prayer. If you are a child of GOD, then you know that GOD is all good, in all ways, always! He is True Love manifested in CHRIST JESUS. His nature is love, and the nature of Love is to give. (John 3:16, 20:25-28; I John 4:9)

In the manner of Jabez, we will pray to be blessed INDEED! We will ask GOD, our Father, to grant us (for each today), the blessings He had already thought to give even before we were born. We will receive all His blessings (for each today), in whatever shape or size He desires to package it -- with grateful hearts and thankful praises. (Mal 3:10; Psalm 139:16; Eph 1:3-6, 11, 18-19; I Thes 5:18)

MISSION STATEMENT (Deut 6:13; Mal 1:6; John 17:4, 15:7-8, 14:13-14; Eph 3:21)
To give all praise and glory to the One True Living GOD in CHRIST JESUS -- Creator of heaven and earth, of all things seen and unseen.

PURPOSE (James 1:6-7; Mark 9:23-24; Heb 11:6; Matt 7:7-8, 11; Phil 3:10a; John 20:25-29; II Cor 5:7)

To strengthen and prove -- make real -- our faith in GOD by documenting His awesome power in our lives through fervent prayer.

To pray, in the manner that Jabez did in I CHRONICLES 4:10 -- truly believing, fully trusting that indeed, "the LORD, the LORD GOD, is merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth." (Ex 34:6; Gen 22:8, 32:26; Jer 33:3; Matt 21:22; Eph 3:14-21; I Tim 2:8)
***To ask GOD, our Father, to bless us (INDEED!), His children, so that we may be used as His instruments to bless those around us, so that His Holy SPIRIT may work through us for His glory. (Matt 7:7; 10:8b; Acts 20:35; James 4:3; John 14:13-14)
***To ask GOD, our Father, through the engineering of the Holy SPIRIT -- to enlarge our boundaries, our territories (our impact and influence), so that we may do more for Him.
***To ask, GOD, our Father, that He lead, strengthen and protect us with His almighty righteous right hand -- to be continually filled with His Holy SPIRIT, so that we may be empowered to do His will. (Eph 3:16; Rom 8:26; John 15:5; Luke 11:13)
***To ask GOD, our Father, to guard and keep us from evil -- whether from within (our own sinful flesh) or from without (from others, or from satan's influence), so that we may not cause pain to anyone, including ourselves, neither intentionally nor unintentionally. (Matt 26:41; Eph 6:12; John 17:15)
***To ask, GOD, our Father, in the name (the office and authority) of CHRIST JESUS, all these things because we know that absolutely nothing is impossible for the Lord, our GOD, our Father. (John 17:11, 15:16; Psalm 37:4; Matt 19:26; Isaiah 55:8-9)

Oh, that You would bless me indeed -- obtain GOD's promises to His children
and enlarge my territory -- be used for Great Commission ministry (Matt 28:19-20; Luke 6:38, 10:8)
that Your hand would be with me --
be filled/empowered by the Holy SPIRIT
and that You would keep me from evil -- be protected against temptation (Eph 6:11; Matt 16:18; James 1:12)
that i may not cause pain! -- be blameless in GOD's sight (I Thes 5:23; Psalm 19:14)

PARTNERING WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT (John 6:63; II Cor 4:18; Rom 8:26-27)
With your commitment to 31 days of fervent prayer, you partner with the Almighty Holy SPIRIT of GOD. The Holy SPIRIT is the Master Engineer. He takes from GOD's Reality (GOD's will in Heaven) and makes it Actuality (GOD's will on earth). Trust that our Father chooses the blessings (for each today) with your best always in His perfect wisdom. CHRIST JESUS intercedes and prays for you -- be confident that our Father always hears all your prayers.
(Isaiah 53:12)

ARE YOU READY TO -- (Deut 10:12-13; Rom 8:14; John 15:4-5)
___ REPENT: turn from your sin(s) and turn to GOD?
___ SURRENDER to His rule, His control, His almighty presence? (Phil 2:5; John 3:30)
___ OBEY His voice? (Test that small, still voice you "hear" -- is it GOD's, yours, or satan's influence -- by the Scriptures, the Word of GOD.) (I Thes 5:21; John 13:17; Ps 40:8; Matt 18:3-4; I John 3:22)
___ YIELD your physical body, your heart and soul (your deepest, innermost core) to the Holy SPIRIT as His domain? (Rom 12:1; Phil 2:5; Matt 26:39)
___ INVITE Him into your "house"? (Is it in order, uncluttered, clean? Are there any rooms or closets with locked doors that you have not given Him the key? Have you asked the Holy SPIRIT to help you with the Spring cleaning?) (Matt 21:13; I Pet 1:16; Psalm 51:10, 139:23-24)
___ ASK for forgiveness for any unconfessed (therefore unforgiven) sin that is hindering His work -- your blessings -- from being made actual in your life? Matt 5:3, 6:14; John 9:31)
___ SETTLE your account(s) with GOD? Get right with Him -- life is short! (Prov 15:29; Ps 16:3, 25:4-5, 37:5)
___ i give up all that was (the lifestyle of the old nature) and cast the burdens of the past and present unto CHRIST JESUS. (Psalm 55:22; Luke 9:62)
___ i submit my will to the Holy SPIRIT abiding in me with all that He wills. (I John 3:22, 5:14-15; John 8:28-29, 15:7; Gal 5:16; Matt 6:33)
___ i agree to His extreme makeover in my life. (Rom 8:29)
___ i accept all that He does as blessings from GOD, my Father. (I Thes 5:18)
___ i trust that GOD, my Father, knows what is best for me and that He will in all ways, always have my best interest in His infinitely intelligent mind. (Heb 11:6; Jer 33:3; Sol 7:10; Rom 8:28)
___ i receive all the blessings, in whatever shape or size, that GOD, my Father, chooses to give me with a joyful and grateful heart. (I Thes 5:16-18)

____________________________________________(sign and date)
(This is your personal commitment between you and the Holy SPIRIT.)


___ Repent from any sin(s) and turn to GOD; ask for and receive GOD's forgiveness; remember to forgive also those who have sinned against you, as CHRIST commands. (Mal 3:7b; II Chron 7:14; Matt 6:14-15; Psalm 32:5; Luke 22:32; Mark 11:25-26)
___ Seek GOD's will by asking to be filled and controlled (thus empowered) by His Holy SPIRIT, and by "hearing" His Word--through reading/studying the Holy Bible. ( Rom 8:26-27; Psalm 119)
___ Pray your heartfelt version of I CHRONICLES 4:10 -- fervently, sincerely, meditatively, faithfully -- truly believing that the All-Powerful GOD is indeed your Father, CHRIST Jesus' own Abba. (Matt 6:9:13; Luke 22:44; James 5:16; I Tim 2:18; I Thes 5:17)
___ Acknowledge GOD's presence throughout the whole day with continual heartfelt thanks and praises, with intercessory prayers for others, affirming that His will be done in all. (Acts 6;4; Phil 4:6; Col 1:9-10; I Thes 5:17-18)
___ Journal daily your prayers. Include all answered prayers, blessings, GOD-given insights, lessons learned.
___ Act like a CHRISTian--read and do ROMANS 12. (Verse 21: Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.)___ Share weekly with another "JBZ2!" your experience(s). (Rom 10:15, 12:10, 13)
___ Keep your physical eyes wide open to the Holy SPIRIT's engineering; the eyes of your heart sensitive to the Holy SPIRIT's leading; and your spiritual ears tuned in to His small, still voice. (Psalm 139:7-12)
___ TRUST and OBEY the Word of GOD. TRUST and DO the next thing. TRUST and WALK in the light. (Matt 19:14; Prov 3:5; Gal 5:16, 25; Psalm 37:3, 5, 34; Lamen 3:22-23, 25; James 1:22; Gen 22:16-18)
___ ACT! in order to receive our Father's multitude of blessings. (You must initiate that first step to dive in! The instant you decide to risk your all in to GOD's will for you, the Almighty Holy SPIRIT rushes in with all that He is to empower you for what GOD has called you to do. Feel the fear -- go for GOD anyway!) (Heb 11:8, 17, 29 30-34; Matt 9:20-22)

The key to continual and powerfully answered prayer(s) is your daily ongoing obedience to the Word of GOD, yielding to the leading of the Holy SPIRIT and surrendering your rights to your rights to CHRIST. Rather than just giving the Holy SPIRIT complete run of your "house," it's signing over to Him the deed to your "house" -- your bodyheart&soul. (Rom 12:1; James 4:17; John 15:7)
Work out what GOD has worked in (Phil 2:12) -- work out the fruit of the SPIRIT.(Gal 5:22)


Holy Bible, journal (or notebook), pen(s), colored markers or highlighters. Recommended reading: Prayer of Jabez (by Bruce Wilkinson).


Jabez -- believed in the Almighty Holy GOD of Israel. He believed in His miracles, His power, His mercy because he inherited GOD's History, the Scriptures of the Jews. He was more honorable than his brothers (if you are a true believer and walking in CHRIST, you are already "more honorable"). He cried out in prayer -- he was fervent, genuine and sincere. GOD answered his prayer INDEED!

blessing --- the wonderful, unlimited goodness that only GOD has the power to know about or give to us (it's not a "bless you" after a sneeze!). To bless is to impart or ask for a supernatural favor that only GOD can do or give.

indeed -- "in Hebrew, it's like adding five exclamation points -- bless me!!!!!; or writing in all capital letters and underlining it -- BLESS ME." (from Bruce Wilkinson) As for us JBZ2! prayer warriors, we will ask GOD, our Father, to bless us indeed this way -- BLESS me!!!

territory -- wherever GOD has placed you physically (location) or spiritually (your influence or impact to those around you) to be His ambassadors in CHRIST JESUS.

"Jabez appointment" -- SPIRIT-engineered circumstance or meeting where GOD wants to use you, to work through you to bless someone, and then be blessed yourself in the process.

Holy SPIRIT -- GOD's almighty righteous right hand; the Helper, the Comforter, the Teacher promised by JESUS and given to you at the instant moment of baptism into the family of GOD by the Holy SPIRIT -- your sincere acceptance of JESUS as Savior, as LORD, as CHRIST of your bodyheart&soul.

indwelling -- the permanent residency of the Holy SPIRIT in your bodyheart&soul, where you are in the position to receive the supernatural power of GOD.

filling -- the actual empowerment from GOD Himself, through the indwelling Holy SPIRIT, to enable the CHRISTian to carry out GOD's purpose. This power is available to you when you allow the SPIRIT full reign over every part of your bodyheart&soul.

IF you partner with the Holy SPIRIT -- "Trust Him to save you from your sins and to drive them all out of your life. Trust Him to curb your temper, to subdue your (self-serving) will, to enlighten your understanding, to check your passions, to comfort your despondency, to help your weakness and to illuminate your darkness. Trust Him to dwell in you (richly) as your Life, to reign in you as your King, to sanctify you wholly -- spirit, soul and body -- and then to take you up to dwell with the saints in light forever. Trust Him whose power will never diminish, whose kindness will never change, whose faithfulness will never fail, whose wisdom will never be confused and whose perfect goodness can never know a decrease! By trusting, you may enjoy sweet peace now, and glory thereafter." (excerpt from "Evening by Evening" by C.H. Spurgeon) The TRUTH shall make you free INDEED!

All the above are yours when you walk with the Holy SPIRIT. He leads, Boldyou follow!


"For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." (Proverbs 23:7)___ Who/What is your god? Who/What do you worship? Who is sitting on the throne of your bodyheart&soul? (For everyone is obedient. One either obeys god or GOD. There is no middle ground, no grey in-between, no place for lukewarm affections.) (Matt 6:25, 7:13-14)
___ Do you believe in the one true GOD -- Creator of Heaven and earth, of everything seen and unseen, Maker of what was, what is, and what will be? (Gen 1:1; Ex 3:14; Heb 11:6)
___ Do you believe that this All-Powerful Holy GOD is your Father? (Acts 17:28)
___ If you believe that GOD is your Father in Heaven, and youBold are His child, do you obey Him today? Are you walking His talk? (Psalm 1:1; Deut 10:12-13; John 14:21, 8:29)
___ Do you believe that the only way you can claim to be a child of the All-Powerful GOD, is to become part of GOD's family through His Son, CHRIST JESUS? (John 8:23-24; 6:29; 14:6; 11:25; 10:7, 9; 8:12; 6:35, 41, 48, 51; 10:11, 14; 15:1-5)
___ Have you received CHRIST JESUS as your Savior? (John 3:36; Rom 10:9-11)
___ Do you believe that the Holy SPIRIT of this All-Powerful GOD was gifted to you at the instant moment you accepted Jesus as your CHRIST -- your Savior, your LORD -- and now, literally lives in your bodyheart&soul? (John 4:14, 3:5, 7:63, 14:16-17; Matt 3:11)
___ Are you a believer, sincere and genuine, a lover of Jesus, CHRIST-owned, SPIRIT-filled new creature, born again into GOD's family? (John 15:14, 17, 10:27; 4:24; Gal 5:22)

"...great is your faith! Let it be so as you desire." (Matthew 15:28)
"If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes." (Mark 9:23)

Please donate. ALL donations will benefit the Naselesele Village school children in Taveuni, Fiji. VINAKA VAKA LEVU! 

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


When i pray each morning and ask GOD, my Father, to bless me indeed!!! as Jabez did in I Chronicles 4:10, the blessings that i'm asking for today are Beyond the Horizon. The Holy SPIRIT of GOD, my Father, is engineering everything needed to create each and every blessing designated for me (for each today) that had already been thought of in GOD's infinitely intelligent mind.

Like the fairy tale about Santa with his elves working busily during the whole year for CHRISTmas delivery -- except that for a child of GOD, every day is CHRISTmas! -- all this work is done out of sight at the North Pole, Santa's mythical residence.

i can't see (or understand) my Father's masterful creating -- but my Father is always at work. He never grows weary; He never runs out of ideas; He has a countless multitude of angels at His bidding to help create these suprising presents for each today.

So when i pray for my Father to bless me INDEED!!! -- i am but asking for my Father to shower me with the blessings He had already packaged for me before time began. (Presents in all shapes and sizes --beautifully wrapped and beribboned, or plainly encased in brown paper bag, or just boxed in stark black.)

i just receive all the gifts of His choosing with arms wide open and with a thankful, grateful heart. i know! that the Lord, the Lord GOD, is merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth...and He is my Father!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

WHO IS rln!

i was born in the Philippine Islands. Mom said i was to be called Carolyn. My sister couldn't quite get her pronunciation right on the hard "C" -- so she called me Arlyn. When my family immigrated to California, for my Dad was in the US Navy, Arlyn was Americanized to Arlene. Even today, that name has stuck...i'm Arlene to my family and close relatives.

BUT -- !!! i was baptized (both my parents are Catholic) with the first name Merlina. In secondary school, i got my first lesson of THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS! Imagine my chagrin when i reported in to my 8th grade class, a girl, Filipina also, called out, "Hey! that's my name! (It's a small world indeed!!! for this Merlina came from the same island, same province, just the next small town after mine!) Our teacher was fair -- or maybe she just didn't want to deal with any dramas -- she had us answer to roll call by our nicknames: Arlene for me and Lynn for the other one...hahaha!!! (We actually became best friends in high school...even co-captained the school's drill team.)

So to the world out there, i was school, at work, to strangers/acquaintances.

THEN -- !!! i became a New Age thinker, backpacker/world traveler, massage therapist. Merlina got shortened to Merlin. GET IT? My business card was -- "Merlin, with the Magic Touch." It was a catchy name alright...even hid my gender...i could have been either or!

THEN -- !!! i got saved! CHRIST became my new life. i wanted to minimize the big ME in MErlin...for my ego was great INDEED!!! -- and instead, magnify my Beloved LORD. To reinforce my desire to subdue the ME in me, i started signing my name in small letters, no caps. Then, in a seminar sponsored by my church, we had to write our names on cards...i wrote merlin in small caps as usual, then SPIRIT led me to cross the "me" out of merlin.

SO -- !!! i became (at least in my heart) "rlin". The final transformation of my name, which matched the deep transformation of the "me" that i am, happened just last month, April 2009. i took out, cut out (killed!!!) even that small "i".

FINALLY -- !!! here i am...rln! really love, live, laugh now!

The exclamation point is how i live my life today -- with joyful zest, with focused urgency on my Beloved LORD JESUS, with the "umph!" of the HOLY SPIRIT.

...and because i'm excited INDEED!

(P.S. -- My daughter saw Arlyn as rln! Imagine my Mom calling me in her Tagalog accent -- she's a bit deaf, so she's a bit loud -- "Arlyn!" sounds like rln!)


IN CHRIST means being one -- literally, physically and spiritually -- with my Beloved LORD. i am totally immersed in Him through and through to the very deepest core, even into the spaces between the quarks of my body and soul and spirit.

Like a baby in the mother's womb, the sac with the amniotic fluid, represents Jesus CHRIST Himself; the umbilical cord represents the Holy SPIRIT connecting me to my life Source, the mother, who represents GOD, my Father.

Being IN CHRIST is living this life on earth totally dependent upon GOD, my Father. He provides the nourishment for growth, the Holy SPIRIT provides the channel for nourishment, and CHRIST provides the environment for the Life.

Being IN CHRIST, i am in Jesus, surrounded by GOD, filled by SPIRIT. And The Life, the True Bread, and the Living Water -- GOD Himself -- through a mystery my finite mind can't fathom, is in me and inside me!

And there's NO SEPARATION. We form a whole with no gaps. Though not yet perfected, i am already complete IN CHRIST.

Like a baby's necessary 9-month growth period in the mother's womb, my entire life on earth is the necessary gestation period GOD has marked out for me as His thorough preparation for my birth into His world -- His heavenly Kingdom.

Every person, every thing, every circumstance is part of my gestation -- growing, training, preparing me for that Life in Heaven where Love, Joy, Peace are the norm. GOD, my Father, is shaping, pruning, caring for me, providing everything needed (sweet and bitter, and all in between) to complete this gestation period before my "final birth" into His Kingdom.

His best for me is already Reality in Heaven; the gestation period for this best is my evolving Actuality here on earth. Therefore, i can truly thank GOD for this ongoing process for i know i am becoming who i already am -- His child, His daughter.

i am excited INDEED!

Friday, May 1, 2009


Hallelujah, INDEED!!!

My face is awashed with this big Cheshire grin drawn from ear to ear...i've got a blog!!!

For all of you out there in cyber-space, with your i-pods and blogs and camera-cellphones, this is no big's just your normal, every-day world. But for a "bush-woman" just come back to good ol' US of A, having a blog is like getting that b/w tv in the 1960's. It's an event INDEED!!!

And today, i've got my very first artwork on -- that's another event INDEED!!!

In case you're wondering why all the "indeed"s in all caps with the 3 exclamation points -- that's another INDEED!!! event in the making...