When i was about 10 years old, we immigrated to San Diego, we were united with our in-the-Navy father...we had both parents at last. But it was quite a sterile environment...we were sheltered, clothed and fed (for which i am very grateful), but not with much real loving affection to nurture our souls.
In this new environment, i grew up an introvert, thinking (therefore, acting on what i thought) that i was a nobody--not special in any way. Then as an adult, as i discovered hidden talents and new aspects of myself through foreign travel, i began to think (and act according to these thoughts) that i was someone special...i became puffed up, deluding myself into thinking i had much to offer.
Then i got saved (received CHRIST as my Messiah and Redeemer) and thought (and therefore acted on these new beliefs) that i was indeed special, taking pride in being a child of GOD. Yes, i was (and am) indeed His child, but i didn't know Him yet as my Father.
Then GOD, the Good Father that He is, began the purifying process of burning off contaminants which adulterated His end product--the true child of GOD He had always intended me to be. And during this process (which continue even as i type this blog), i was convicted so that i knew that i was indeed a nothing, a nobody, just a lot of hot air.
And that's when GOD made me a somebody--His somebody!
i'm His artist, His ambassador, His instrument so that He may bless others, His hands and feet to do and go where He wills.
When i am being a nobody, then He makes me His somebody. Then i am special in His sight, and i become the apple of His eye (never mind if i'm a worm in the apple in others' eyes). Then i can dance the walk (LifeWalk 101 In CHRIST)--not just walk the walk, but walking the walk with such joy that i just do it with a bounce in my steps, turning LifeWalk 101 into a joyfilled jig.
Then i can rest in the midst of my busy-ness (a balancing act between being a Martha and being a Mary, doing what needs to be done, yet sitting at JESUS' feet in rapt attention). i stand firm and at ease within GOD's will for i think and believe, and therefore act accordingly, that GOD is indeed in control.
Before when i didn't know GOD and thought i knew much but didn't really know anything at all of lasting value, i talked the talk...an intellectual spewing out a lot of spiritual junk.
When i got saved, i talked the walk. i eagerly learned the new lingo, and i tried my best to put into practice what i crammed in my head. In my impatience, in my perfectionist attitude, i was like a new student trying to earn that A+ from my LORD. (i had good grades in school, why not in LifeWalk 101?)
But GOD in His mercy didn't just leave me alone to stumble through with my hit and miss m.o. He knew that i was serious about my salvation. He knew i loved His Son. He knew i wanted to grow as His child. He knew me through and through because He knew me even before i was born. (He created me...of course He knows me!)
So He caused (made!) me, through His Holy SPIRIT abiding in me, to walk the walk. He taught me to pray. He strengthened my faith in Him--through some hard knocks, through some lengthy Valley of the Shadow of Death, through some soul-searing emptiness--by being with me all throughout these trials that tested me.
Today, i am dancing the walk. i'm living the walk, but not so heavy handedly, not so seriously (don't get me wrong--i am deadly serious about my salvation, about the Cross of JESUS--what it took Him to gift me this free, undeserved full pardon).
Today, doing the walk is a joy because i am truly loving (loving!) GOD's will. i know who He is--He is the Source of all existence, including mine. He created everything seen and unseen. He upholds and sustains the heavens. He is the all mighty Almighty GOD--so utterly powerful and righteous, yet so infinitely tenderhearted, compassionate, gracious and loving.
And He is my Father! Thinking, believing and acting on this truth gives me peace of mind, allows me to rest from all my striving, energizes me to enjoy this LifeWalk 101--this tango with the Holy SPIRIT--where He leads and i simply follow..."fear"fully, willingly and joyfully.