1) Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
MErlin was my god. i lived for my own selfish ends, i loved myself first over everyone, i served only myself, i and me!
2) Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.
Traveling, self-realization, spiritual knowledge were my idols. i was an idolater. i sacrificed my daughter's well-being, my integrity and true righteousness to chase after these self-serving passions.
3) Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy GOD in vain.
In anger, i cursed and cussed aloud GOD's holy name. i misused the name of JESUS CHRIST -- i spoke His name without reverence, without respect and awe, without love. i used GOD's name frivolously, flippantly, foolishly.
4) Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
When i was addicted to exercise, to glorifying my body--i went to the gym six to seven times a week, sometimes even on Sundays. i did not respect my body to give it the rest it needed, nor give rest to my soul by stopping my busyness to worship and meditate on GOD and His Word.
5) Honor thy father and thy mother.
i gossiped about my parents. i looked down on them with contempt for their faults, the way they raised us. i thought they were narrow- and shallow-minded.
6) Thou shalt not kill.
JESUS said, "Whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the Judgment." i have wished death on someone innocent. i have been extremely angry without just cause at a family member. i have killed in my mind.
7) Thou shalt not commit adultery.
JESUS said, "Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." i committed adultery in my heart...several times.
8) Thou shalt not steal.
When i was a child i stole. As an adult, i stole by taking office supplies without my employer's knowledge (pens, pencils, Post It pads). i also stole some one's good name when i gossiped and talked badly about that person. i stole whenever i took anything without the owner's permission or knowledge, like eating my friend's baked goods that she was saving as CHRISTmas gifts.
9) Thou shalt not bear false witness.
To avoid embarrassment, i lied. i lied by not telling the 100% truth--telling only the part that made me look good. i lied so i wouldn't take the blame. i lied by bending the true righteousness of GOD to suit my own form of righteousness (fornication is okay as long as we truly love each other...living together is okay because we're in a committed, monogamous relationship).
10) Thou shalt not covet.
i coveted by wanting my husband to be like someone else's husband. i coveted someone else's life of ease, including the house by the seaside. i coveted my friend's leather-bound Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest. i wanted some other thing, not being content with what GOD has given me.
i've broken all the Laws of the one true GOD...i must reap what i've sown. i have to pay GOD's penalty. And His Judgment is just...it is also fearful. He must punish sin because He is a righteous GOD of love. (Will He not mete out justice to someone who raped your sister or killed your child?)
GOD is a GOD of love and justice.
Not only do i need to pay for my sins here on earth (the consequences of my chosen actions--for as in the law of physics, every action has a re-action; or as in GOD's Law, one reaps what one sows)--i have to pay the penalties for breaking GOD's Laws in the day of Judgment. And who can stand against the wrath of GOD?
But with utter gratefulness, i thank the one true GOD--merciful and gracious--He has provided the one and only way out of my mess, out of my sure destruction, out of my hell-bound destiny. GOD has given me (and whoever has broken His Laws and repents and declares JESUS as LORD and SAVIOR) out of His unimaginable love, His own Self, His own Son, JESUS, the CHRIST, the Messiah.
JESUS has paid in full, my fine of eternal condemnation--of eternal Hell. JESUS died for my sins that i may live an abundant life here on earth and literal paradise in Heaven. Through JESUS' ultimate sacrifice by faithfully fulfilling His purpose here on earth--the horrific torture on the Cross at Calvary--He satisfied the wrath of GOD that would have been poured out on me, here on earth and later in Hell.
And because of the fact of JESUS' resurrection, i have rock-solid hope, i have sure knowledge that i too will live after this life on earth has fulfilled GOD's purpose. Today i am not part of the walking dead--for those who have broken GOD's Laws are dead already--in spirit, and later if not sooner, in body too.
Today i am truly alive, a new creature altogether. Indwelled by the Holy SPIRIT of GOD, empowered by all that He is through His sovereign control, i am willingly and joyfully surrendered to His will. i am a fully devoted follower of JESUS CHRIST.
i'll declare again as i did last year this quote from Oswald Chambers--it matters not what GOD does, it matters only who He is!
And who is He? The all mighty Almighty Creator of all things seen and unseen. He is the Source of all life. He is Infinite Wisdom, He is Ultimate Truth. He is Perfect and Holy. Who is He? He is CHRIST JESUS, and He is alive in me, through the Holy SPIRIT. The mystery of the indwelling SPIRIT is no mystery to me (or to any genuine born again believer)--i know His voice, for i am His sheep. His presence is as real to me as the day, as the sun and the moon that i can see with my physical eyes.
GOD Himself has opened up the blind eyes of my heart. Today, through the indwelling SPIRIT, i see JESUS!